Moony
by XxShukketsuYume
Summary: Remus Lupin is terrified that his three friends with find out his secret. What happens when they do?
1. Chapter 1

_Title: Moony  
Author: Pengwinn  
Summary: Remus' secret of being a werewolf is discovered.  
Disclaimers: None of this belongs to me…except characters that you may not notice. Everything else, including this entire universe, belongs to JK Rowling, and I make no profit out of this. It is a pass time._

**_--Author's Narration: We begin in an English forest, at midnight, a full moon, very still and quiet, sometime in the near past--_**

Remus walked down the path, staring up at the moon. "It's so pretty." He said, looking up at his father. "Don't you think so Daddy?"

"Yes Reme, it is." He said, patting his son on the head. "You know, it's almost time for your birthday isn't it son?"

"Yup." Remus said excitedly. "I'll be five. Finally!"

Mr. Lupin chuckled. "Well, I think for your birthday we'll take you to Ireland. How would you like that?"

"I'd love it Daddy!" Remus said happily. "Oh, Ireland? Really?"

"Yes."

"Does Dane have to come?" He asked, referring to his step mother.

"Remus, I know you don't like Dane, but yes. I promise, we'll make everything just perfect for your birthday. I promise."

"Okay." Remus smiled.

"Remus, did you hear that?" Mr. Lupin asked. Remus shook his head, but then he heard it. A howling, like a wolf or a dog. There were ruffling of leaves, yelps of pain, and then there was a sharp pain in his leg, as he was thrown across the clearing, landing near a very large birch tree. He looked down at his leg. It was bleeding immensely.

"Daddy!" He asked. "Daddy it hurts!"

"Remus! Run!" Mr. Lupin shouted, taking out his wand and facing the werewolf. "Run son, run!"

"I can't leave you Daddy!"

"RUN REMUS! PLEASE RUN NOW!"

"Daddy I won't leave you!"

"Don't worry about me! I'll be fine!"

"Daddy!"

"Remus, don't make me do it!"

"Daddy!"

Mr. Lupin turned around and pointed his wand at his son, and shouted something in Latin, sending the bewildered four year old flying through the forest with tremendous speed, not stopping until he reached the edge. Remus tried to run back into the forest, but there was something keeping him back. Slamming his fists into the ground, he tried and tried, until he heard a cry so loud it shook the ground, followed by red sparks and dead silence.

)(This is a fic I wrote a while ago, too. I know, more and more of my old stuff, ne/ Hey, at least I made progress::laughs at self.: Anyway, review. I'm gonna post another chapter or so of it, but...:shrug.:

YFFSM,

Pengwinn )(


	2. Chapter 2

**_---Scotland, nine years later---_**

Ever since he had become a werewolf, he always blamed himself for his father's death. He never wanted to think about that night again. But it always came back to him, in his dreams, in his head. Dane blamed him, and so didn't his sister, Morgan. She hated him for it. Dane had wanted to kill him when she'd found him the next morning, bleeding still. They went into the woods together and found his father's body, or what scraps were left with it after the werewolf had finished. They didn't have a funeral. There wasn't much to bury.

Remus snapped out of his trance and stared at the assignment which was written on the board in their Defence Against the Dark Arts class. Professor Burgundy looked at him with a _just-because-you-are-what-you-are-doesn't-mean-you-aren't-doing-this_ kind of look. He wrote down the assignment reluctantly as she reiterated it aloud.

"A ten page essay, summarizing the chapter on werewolves in your text books. **No** exceptions. **No** excuses." She stared down Remus and his three friends, who were famous around the school for each having their own special excuse for not doing homework. "I want this on my desk on Thursday." She said, writing down on the board as well. "Class dismissed."

The four of them gathered their things and walked out of the classroom, getting ready to go off to dinner. "Can you believe her?" James asked. "That woman _hates_ us."

"No, really?" Sirius said. "Especially you today Reme." He pointed out, turning around to face Remus.

"Huh?" Remus said, looking up. "Oh. Well I'm sure she has a good reason to suspect that we wouldn't do it. You know?"

"Yeah, but she was really snappy towards you." James said.

"I agree with Remus." Peter eeped. "I mean, she hates everyone, doesn't she?"

"And this thing on werewolves?" James motioned to his bag. "I mean, come on, isn't it enough to just say they're evil and leave it at that?"

"I guess…but what if there's something else that we don't know? I mean, aren't they like normal humans?" Sirius said. "Regularly I mean."

"Which makes them all the more dangerous." Peter said. "For all we know, you could be one Remus."

"**What**!" Remus yelped, jumping back ."What are you talking about?"

"It's just hypothetical Reme, calm down." James said, giving him a sideway glance. "You seem really jumpy today. You okay?"

"Yeah…fine….I think I'm gonna go upstairs and get a start on this essay. I'm not very hungry." Remus said, and instead of going into the Great Hall, he walked up the Grand Stair Case towards the Gryffindor Tower.

"Keep your cool." He muttered, slumping down onto his four poster. The room was entirely empty, and a cool November breeze was drifting through the open window next to his bed. He stared at the ceiling. What would they do when they found out? What would they say? They were his only friends, the only people who he cared about more than anything else in the world.. If he lost them, he'd never be able to carry on. Peter's words rung in his ears. Which makes them all the more dangerous. And James. Isn't it enough to just say they're evil and leave it at that? They couldn't find out. They just couldn't.

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Remus was sitting at the foot of the boy dormitory stairs, not moving an inch. James, Sirius, and Peter were sitting in a circle, doing their own werewolves essay, when understanding had suddenly dawned on James' face. He looked in the corner, the other two not noticing, their quills scratching away quickly, at Remus.

Remus looked him in the eyes, sadly. There was fear, and pain in those deep, deep hazel eyes. Betrayal was taking over now, and the anger was soon to come. He sighed, and, with on last look at James, turned upstairs.

So James knew. Sirius and Peter would know soon enough, and then they would demand he'd be kicked out of Hogwarts, or sent to another dorm. But after the next dorm kicked him out, where would he go? Yet another? To be thrown out again? It would simpler to just run away, a voice in the back of his mind said. Another voice, the calmer, more rational one, rebounded the statement. "Wait until you see how James reacts." He whispered out loud. "He may not hate you." Remus didn't know who he was reassuring, but it made him feel infinitely better.

TBC

)( So yeah, that's the next chapter...whatdya guys think? Review. !

YFFSM,

Pengwinn)(


	3. Chapter 3

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"Remus, we need to talk." James said, walking into the dormitory. Sirius and Peter were no where in sight. Remus had expected this. It'd been three days since James had figured it out, he'd expected him to do something about it sooner than later.

"So you've figured it out then." Remus said, sighing. He was sitting pretzel legged in front of his four poster. James looked at him, one eye brow quirked up.

"So I'm right then?" James said, sitting down across from him.

"Yep. I'll start packing now." He said. He stood up and opened the trunk he'd put on his bed.

"For where?" James asked.

"For home. I mean, you wouldn't want to still live with me now that you know." Remus sighed deeply and put in his cloak. James stood up, staring him in the face.

"I'm right. You're….you're a werewolf?"

"Have been since I was five."

"How come you didn't tell us?" James asked, pulling Remus around. "And stop packing your things. It's aggravating."

"Because, I didn't want to loose you. But it was inevitable." He shrugged and turned around to begin packing once more. James pointed his wand at it and it flew across the room into the closet. The closet door slammed shut and Remus turned around again, facing James. "You don't want me to leave?"

"Remus, since you were five? Where do you go for full moons?" James asked.

"I…I go somewhere out of the school. So I can't hurt anyone."

"Is that why you're always out for so long?"

"Yes." Remus said, sitting down in his position again. "Turning into a werewolf is physically and mentally draining. And then there's the factor of the werewolf wanting meat to take into the consideration. The pent up energy of not being able to attack anything living makes the beast turn on itself."

"So, you…attack yourself?"

"Yes. But it's better than attacking someone else." He looked at James. "Aren't you angry? Don't you want me to leave the school?"

"No." James said. "Not at all. I'm concerned. Does…" He paused, considering. "Does it hurt?"

"Hell yes." Remus said through his inhaling breath. "More than you can possibly imagine. I'm drained for three days after the full moon, but Pomfrey always makes me stay the week."

"So, all those times you were out-"

"I lied about where I was going, yes." He nodded. "I'm sorry, it's just.."

"I understand." James said, nodding. "I'm not so sure Peter will. He's still hell bent on werewolves being the most evil things…"

"So were you." Remus said, sighing. "_Isn't it enough to just say they're evil and leave it at that_?" He couldn't help but hide the spite in his voice as he let the words reverberate around the dormitory.

"Oh God, Reme...I...I..."

"It's all right, mate. You didn't know." He laughed. "How did you figure it out? Was it how tactfully avoid silver? Or the excuses I make so that I'm out around full moons, every month?"

"Both." James said, smiling. "You always avoid silver. Funny, I always thought that was just horror movie bull shite."

"Well, it's not." Remus said. He held up his elbow, and showed a very, very old burn. "That's from when I was six. Dane forgot I can't touch silver, and put real silverware out for a fancy dinner." He winced, remembering the pain. "I haven't touched silver since."

"Are you going to tell Sirius?" James asked.

"Aye. I suppose I should, shouldn't I?" He looked at James, uneasily. James nodded.

"He'll understand, Sirius will."

"Understand what?" Sirius asked from the doorway.

James and Remus both looked at the door way nervously. Remus swallowed loudly, biting his lip nervously. He looked at James. James messed up his hair with his fingers. It'd become a nervous habit now.

Sirius stared at them, confused. "What? What is it? Is Remus a poof or something?" He said, smirking. "And are you his new lover James?" He laughed at his own joke, and they both laughed a little to loud. "Now you're scaring me. Remus never laughs at my jokes. What's up?"

"Er…Sirius, I have a question for you." James said, deciding obviously that Remus could not do this alone.

"Shoot." Sirius sat down. James cleared his throat and looked at Remus. Remus nodded.

"What…would you say…er…now this is hypothetical of course, if one your friends, say….." He swallowed."How bout, me, was a …" At this, he threw his hands up in the air, attempting to appear like it came out of no where. "Oh, an erm...uh...werewolf?" James looked at Sirius, waiting.

"Is that all James? You're a werewolf eh? Huh…that's interesting. So, how're ya going to break it to Peter down there?" Sirius said, changing positions as though the entire thing had not phased him. James looked at Remus again. Remus nodded sadly and cleared his throat.

"Sirius…James isn't the werewolf. I am." He looked at Sirius. Sirius' mouth dropped.

"Heh. N-nice joke guys. What's really the matter?" Sirius asked.

"Er…Sirius…it's…it's not a joke." Remus said, closing his eyes and wishing he could take back what he'd said, wishing with all his might that he could undo what had happened that night more than ever. Why did it bother him so much that Sirius was getting edgy?

Then he realized it. He was the one who had showed the smallest amount of sympathy towards them. So why was he recoiling? Was that just show? Did he just want to be the bigger man?

"I…I was bitten when I was five, and the werewolf killed my Dad, and now I am. That's why I'm gone one week a month." He opened his eyes, aware that tears were welling up in them, and that James was not looking at either of his friends.

Sirius gawked at Remus. He suddenly got that Remus was not lying, that it was not a joke, and there was a flash of fear in his eyes. Remus breathed in, and held his breath. The fear wasn't gone yet. Five seconds, now ten, now fifteen…now thirty. Sirius was scared shitless. Bullocks. Bullocks! Dammit why was he being shallow and afraid now? Why was he doing this to Remus now? Why couldn't he be the sympathetic one that had come out of Potions? "Er.." He said slowly.

"Right. I'll go continue packing my things now." Remus, said, getting up to walk across the room and get his trunk. Sirius grabbed his arm.

"For where?" He asked. Remus exhaled deeply. The fear was gone. It was replaced with sympathy. _Thank you, whoever was up there, god, goddess, thank you whoever you are._

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)(Well, that's all folks! Lol XD Not really. There's more to it, but I figured I'd give you a bit. Review, please? Thanky!

YFFSM,

Pen)(


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